Why do gun owners feel the need to defend themselves with deadly weapons? Can they not just talk things out like civilized people do?

I’ve already posted this but let’s examine my “talking things out” with the two people who tried to break into my parents’ house. I drove them off without having to fire a shot, due to the fortunate circumstance of the lead criminal being halfway in the window (no use of hands) and the other still outside, behind him. But as I and my parents were to learn from Sheriff’s investigators:

And he said (cleaned up into readable English) that “cameras can’t identify you. We wore hoodies and sunglasses. We were safe from that video but those people, maybe they got a good look at one of us. Can’t take no chances, man.” They apparently believed that they were disguised well enough that store video alone couldn’t convict them.

I learned as a seven-year-old that talk is pointless with bullies (thugs and criminals) and that there’s no such thing as a fair fight. I did what I needed to the next time and I’m still thankful for three adult witnesses willing to come forward and tell the police what really happened in that alley. Suffice it to say, I’m still alive and I don’t have a juvenile record (let alone a serious one).

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I could go on all day, many cases I personally know about and many more that I could look up with a modest amount of research. But I have things to do because I *earn* what I have by providing an honest service to people. I don’t crawl through anyone’s window at 3 AM, kick in their door and start shooting or gun down everyone standing at a C-store counter without even saying a word.

They also tried to murder two more people. They broke into a home (with police closing in at this point) and held a couple hostage. It might have ended badly for them; except they took a huge risk and made a run for it when the criminals were distracted. One was shot but not fatally and the other banged up from falling to the ground.

You see folks, criminals might not have done well in Mrs. Peach’s 2nd grade class, but they do very well in Street University. That someone might have caught a marking on you, an unguarded piece of skin, a quick look at anything … you have to kill all the witnesses to make sure.

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They complied and … he shot them in the back of the head. She somehow had the presence of mind to play dead and she recalls hearing him pump a second shot into her boyfriend’s head. For whatever reason, he decided not to finish her off but drove away. She was found a few hours later when the farmer who owned the fields came along. (You could still see the small scar where the bullet passed through her skull and out her cheek. Somehow, the path wasn’t fatal.)

He was caught a few days later, put on trial and her testimony along with other details was enough to put him away for 2nd degree murder and attempted murder. You see, the state agreed with his public defender to the 2nd degree and attempted murder pleas to avoid a trial. Needless to say, my boss was furious but … end of story. Instead of life without parole or even the death penalty, he’d get 20 to life with the possibility of parole.

She has to fly back to Kansas every time he comes up for a parole hearing. Her attorney and even the state have warned her: fail to show up one time and let there be two out of the three hearing officers who feel sorry for him after all this time, and he could walk out a free man.

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Employees now on the floor, helpless, the two could just walk out. But they didn’t — they shot the employee or employees multiple times in the head and then they walked out. That’s how criminals dialog.

They would go on to murder three more people, also in cold blood.

These two had murdered an old couple (a retired dentist and his wife) around 48 hours prior to this attempt. It appears that they kicked in a door and immediately started firing. (They could have seen the couple sitting on their couch watching TV from a front window.)

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Now as it happens, Mrs. Peach taught cooperation, fair play, talking things out with the other kids. But Street U talks survival and that every minute you spend hesitating is the minute that could put you behind bars.

Perhaps they have a point. In a 1990s Los Angeles hold up, a customer got a glimpse of one of the criminals’ arms from wrist to a couple inches up. The store’s video was worthless … but the customer being able to describe what appeared to be a distinctive tattoo proved to be a hit. An LAPD gang expert recognized the tattoo. That in turn led them to zero in on the gang and eventually bust them.

I can’t claim to be street savvy, but I learned enough growing up as an undersized, asthmatic male with a weak eye in the 1950s. That was the “boys will be boys, let them go toe to toe and fight it out” era. I learned very quickly that having a discussion with a bully and his three buddies was pointless. Maybe they’d let you go, but only after you got a good beating. The teachers did nothing, the authorities did nothing.

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Not convinced yet? 1990s, a pair of thugs were evidently working their way up the Mississippi from New Orleans up to the Chicago area. They’d walk into a convenience store when they’d see no customers there. They’d order the employees to open the cash drawer, give them whatever money they had and then lie down on the floor. One remained on the other side of the counter, gun on them at all times. The second was behind the counter to take the money.

The one who stayed on the other side of the counter was offered a deal — he’d never used his gun. He could get some lenience and in the process they asked, “Why did you shoot those people. They always did just what you asked. They were no threat to you.”

Southern California in 2023 … a criminal would walk into a 7-Eleven in the morning, shoot the clerk and anyone else in the store, take what he could grab and run. Several people died, while a number of others were wounded but lived. Video recordings made clear that no one got the chance to “talk things out” with this guy — he walked in and started shooting.

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They carjacked a young couple. The couple were found tied up (so obviously no threat) but then shot in the head. The car was found a day or so later, burned behind the stores in a strip mall.

A sheriff’s deputy spotted who he thought were the pair pulled up at a gas pump. He called it in and then made a rookie mistake. He got out of his car and approached the two — they shot him down in cold blood. Police found that car abandoned a few hours later in the labyrinth of a nearby housing tract.

But you also learned that neither talking nor going toe-to-toe was going to help you. Unlike in a martial arts movie, bullies and their pals don’t line up and wait their turn. If you actually manage to get a shot in at the bully, it’s not going to hurt him at all, but that’s all the excuse their buddies will need to claim that you were “fighting like a girl” or some such thing and all jump you.

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In conclusion, if you want to dialog with those people, be my guest. Go for it, but in my experience (I’m now 72), you’re probably going to end up on the coroner’s table … if you’re lucky. Sometimes criminals feel a need to mess you badly rather than just killing you. Your choice but I will fight you at every turn if you try to make that my choice as well.

Here’s how criminals talk things out — he’s openly vowed to settle the score if he’s ever released. As he said (so I was told) at one parole board hearing, “she took his life away and so now he was going to return the favor if he could. She could have just kept her mouth shut and not given the cops his description. She came out of it alive so what the Eff else did she want?”

The incident ended after several hours of them shooting it out when the house went up in flames. They set this young couple’s house on fire and then waited, perhaps hoping that the distraction would allow them to escape. They came out running, but officers saw them, several (over loudspeakers) demanded that they drop their guns and give up. They started shooting instead and that was the end of it.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

They bought it, let him in and a few miles later, he had a gun pointed at the back of her head. He directed them onto some rural routes, they kept driving for a while. Eventually they came to a stretch of road where no lights or houses could be seen, so he ordered them out. “Give me the keys and you two lie down in the ditch over there. Don’t get up for ten minutes and if you go to the cops, I’ll hunt you down.”

1970s: my then 17-year-old Sr. VP and her boyfriend were running away from rural Kansas and headed for St. Louis. They were taking back roads and at night to avoid a random stop when they found a clean-cut hitchhiker. He had a story (they didn’t just tell him to jump in) and they felt sorry for him. He’d had a few minor scrapes with the law as a juvenile, couldn’t get work and didn’t fit in well in conservative Christian Kansas. He too was headed to a bigger city.

A final reminder: it’s the criminals that you seem to believe are such warm, sharing and caring people who taught me that there’s no such thing as a fair fight. I didn’t learn that in Mrs. Peach’s class and I didn’t learn it from a gun owner. No guns involved when I saw the light and it wasn’t that of God welcoming me to Heaven as four punks had planned.

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You need help if you think that I (or anyone else) could “talk things out” with these two. The police tried that several times. Their victims were never given a chance to even say “Here, take what we have and just leave us alone.”